Nothing Compares to You
You – Versus – Me
From the time we were small we have learnt to compare ourselves to our peers. I see it with my young daughter when she meets someone her own age for the first time, eyeing them up to see who will make the first move to “break the ice” and all the while forming opinions before she even knows the child.
My son on the other hand has a unique way of “cracking a joke” when he meets someone new for the first time. His theory being that if he says something funny straight off and the other person laughs then he knows that they have similar personalities and there is “no ice” to be broken. Quite a mature view for someone so young, but it works for him and I commend his intellect.
Unfortunately as adults we’re not much better and compare ourselves to others often to our determent whether it is when we meet people for the first time or even with those who we already know.
“Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” ~ Shannon L. Alder
It is so important to realise that it is not necessary to compare ourselves to others and that we should learn to develop a strong sense of our own self-worth, this can so be liberating. Having a sense of self-worth
means that you value yourself and having a sense of self-value means that you know you are “worth it“.
Within this wonderful journey called LIFE, we are all at different levels and it is very important to remember that everyone works in their own unique way and no two people are the same!
However as is often the case we typically measure our own self-worth by material and physical possessions and compare ourselves to our peers in the following ways:-
- Our appearance, versus our neighbour’s appearance, can range from the number on the scales to the size of clothes we wear, none of it matters in the great scheme of things yet we often use it as a yardstick to beat ourselves with.
- Our career or our professions, do you feel that others judge you by what you do, simple because it may not be considered a successful career? If you are happy in your chosen field, job or career than what does it matter? If you are not happy, then only you have the power to change that…
- It’s not “WHAT you know” – “it’s WHO you know” how superficial is this statement yet how many of us live by this statement. Our society very often shows us that it’s not what you have learn that will get you where you need to be/want to go, it’s WHO you know, WHO can help you up the ladder…when really MERIT is where the real value is and what we should be striving for.
- Your achievements, yes these are noteworthy, and we all have achievements of some description or another based upon our abilities and capabilities. But as is normal these will be unique to the achiever and judging someone’s worth on what they have achieved in business, or exam results or in their chosen sport is not really seeing the bigger picture or the complete person!
- “Net Worth” as in the monetary price attributed to the value of financial or material assets held by an individual. Judging someone by how much they are worth, how rude!
Below are a few of my very favourite “Be Yourself” Quotes – enjoy!
“The only person you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday” ~ Unknown
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken” ~ Oscar Wilde
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind” ~ Bernard M. Baruch
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring” ~ Marilyn Monroe
“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness” ~ Allen Ginsberg
“Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, stop caring about what others think” ~ Roy T. Bennett,
In what way do you value yourself, please do share in the comments below.
jessetoikkanen · October 15, 2019 at 7:56 pm
Great article, the world would be much better place if all would have some sort of positive mindset most of the time.
By the way, I have always been like your son, I used to say something funny or joke(s) and pretty fast to see whether another person likes me or not and most of the times yes they do.
In my opinion, everybody should have self-respect and also to be kind to everybody, no matter what other people looks like.
Thanks for sharing this, I will take a further look at your website.
Julie Anne Byrne · October 15, 2019 at 8:55 pm
Hi and thanks for sharing your own experiences, great to hear.
So my son is not so unique 😉 but hey it is a wonderful skill to have to “crack a joke” when you find yourself in a new and sometimes uncomfortable situation, I admire this trait.
I agree it is very important that we have self-respect for ourselves and respect for others.
I hope you enjoy browsing through my other posts and thanks again for your comments. All the best, Julie Anne
Stephanie · October 15, 2019 at 8:00 pm
I was just thinking about this a few weeks ago. We tend to compare everything we do to see how the other person is doing and if they’re doing it better than us and if so, then we have to do it all over again or we even consider giving up.
As someone who struggles with social anxiety, it’s really hard to reach out to someone and make conversation, but if we do and we don’t get the same reaction, it makes us question our self-worth. It’s hard finding the positive in yourself.
Julie Anne Byrne · October 15, 2019 at 9:08 pm
Hi Stephanie thanks for leaving your thoughts, it must be extremely hard in those situations as often others mistake your anxiety for shyness or aloofness when really all you want to do is strike up a conversation and find some common ground.
Not always easy to be the first to put yourself out there either but something I learnt quite a long time ago was the realisation that for the most part others are so engrossed in how they look, come across, making a first impression themselves that they haven’t even noticed or made any judgement on you, and for the most part are only to happy for someone else to ‘break the ice’.
Take care and go easy on yourself, Julie Anne
Christine · October 15, 2019 at 8:01 pm
It is true that many of us are raised with the notion to compare ourselves to others. My father told me all the time (whenever he had to scold me for something I did wrong) “what will others think of you?” And that one stuck with me … I like Shannon L. Alder’s quote, and I agree. Personality begins where comparison leaves off. We are all our own unique selves.
In fact, I love all the quotes on your website! They are all so true! Career is a big one where people make comparisons. “So, what do you do?” “What does your boyfriend do?” etc, those are always the first questions asked.
Be who you are, and – like Marilyn said – “it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than to be absolutely boring.”
Julie Anne Byrne · October 16, 2019 at 8:08 pm
Thank you for your input hopefully, the old ways of raising children to worry about what others think of them is long past us…but those were the times back then!
Glad you enjoyed my post and the quotes 🙂
All the best, Julie Anne
Linda Cooper · October 15, 2019 at 8:19 pm
Girls do have more of a tendency to compare themselves to others and sometimes in a derogatory way. Boys on the other hand are more likely to take others at face value.
As adults we need to learn not to compare ourselves and our lives to others, this will hopefully have a knock on effect to the children, so they don’t feel the need to constantly compare themselves to others.
Sadly its become the norm to be critical of ourselves and others, from looks to home to lifestyle. We need to realise that what other people do and they way they live their lives doesn’t matter in the slightest. We should spend more time focusing on our own hopes and dreams and realising how amazing we really are.
Thank you for a thought provoking post, I enjoyed it.
Julie Anne Byrne · October 16, 2019 at 8:14 pm
Thanks for your thoughts Linda, greatly appreciated, you have wise words to offer and it is so important that we do not focus on other people’s opinions of us, it is none of our concern!
Glad you enjoyed my post, all the best, Julie Anne